


To The Real World

by Liza0111



Category: Heavy Rain
Genre: Drug Withdrawal, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Original Character(s), Post game ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 15:35:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15560937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liza0111/pseuds/Liza0111
Summary: “To be alive”. Norman Jayden can’t remember when is the last time he felt that way.Drowning himself in work is the only distraction he can think of. The pain of Tripto withdrawal is unbearable.He wants to feel again, to be able to have something to live for, to have a reason to embrace this world one more time.The smile of one person leaves him yearning for more in this life. Love. Family. Companionship.He misses him. He wants to see him again so badly. He wants to bring a kiss to his lips and never let go of his hands.His love for him burns hotter than a thousand suns.Ethan Mars.





	To The Real World

“Geez, Norman, you look like shit, are you alright?” 

 

A humorless chuckle leaves Norman’s throat as his colleague sits down next to him at the bar, the concern easily detected in his voice. The FBI profiler honestly lost count of how many people have said the exact same thing to him in the past three months. 

 

“Didn’t expect to see you here, Allen.”

 

Norman hardly has anyone that he can call his friend;  _ acquaintance  _ is probably be a better word for it. Allen Clarke is one of the few people he would willingly spend time with outside of work. Genuine and mild-mannered, the blond man is a decent candidate for small talks. His layback attitude makes it easier on Norman’s social anxiety. 

 

“It has been intense lately. What’s up with all these new cases?” Clarke works in a different department from Jayden, his specialty lies within cybercrime. It is not too often when they get a case together, albeit Norman does enjoy working alongside him. “Bet it’s even tougher for you, promotion sounds sweet but it’s so much more work that comes with it.” The man nudges Norman lightly with his elbow, raising an eyebrow at him.

 

“It’s not too bad.” Norman lies unconvincingly. He sprung to fame after being broadcasted as the nation’s hero for cracking the Origami Killer case, and received a promotion shortly after returning to Washington. While the workload is a lot to handle, it is all the attention that gives him the most stress. He never considers himself a hero; he merely did what was right and carried out his duties to protect and serve as a FBI agent. Now journalists are trying to interview him, his superiors are inviting him to their dinner parties, and he even gets recognized on the streets when he is just trying to buy some groceries. He hates all the publicity. It only makes him want to isolate himself from society even more. He must have received at least ten emails from Madison Paige in the past few months and he has ignored all of them. 

 

He doesn’t need a college psychology degree to know that this is a bad coping mechanism, but he reverted to his old ways of burying himself in work to distract himself. At least when he is at work he feels useful. The only thing that really has been on track is he made up his mind to quit Tripto for good. From previous experience, he knows cutting off his dosage entirely would cause too much physical pain for him to function normally at the office, it’ll be too risky to draw suspicion from his boss and co-workers, so he is trying to lower the quantity he takes little by little each day. He is using ARI less, too. As a result of his drug withdrawals, he is irritable all the time, hardly able to keep anything down in his stomach every day. He feels miserable.   

 

“Take it easy, man.” Allen orders another shot of vodka for the two of them, sensing that this is what Norman probably needs right now. “You should go on a vacation, Norman. When’s the last time you asked for personal time off? Leave D.C. and go somewhere fun. It’ll help take your mind off things.”

 

Take his mind off things……That was what Tripto and ARI used to be for. Norman smiles to himself bitterly. Now he is knee deep in a drug addiction he doesn’t know if he can fight off. “You are right.” He heaves a sigh. “I’ll think about it.”

  
  
  
  
  


 

 

It only takes one look at the mirror to confirm what everyone has been saying about him is unfortunately, spot on. Norman turns away from his bathroom mirror grimly and heads towards his bed, drying his dripping hair with a towel. He looks like a ghost. His skin has gotten unnaturally pale, which only makes the dark circles under his eyes even more noticeable. He wonders how his officemates stand to see him every day. He doesn’t understand why any of them wants to even talk to him.

 

Collapsing onto his bed, the thought of taking a break from work once again rises to the surface of his mind. Like Allen said, his vacation is long overdue, and he has enough saving to spontaneously book tickets for Europe if he really wants to, but ironically, the place he truly wants to go to at this very moment is that awful city of Philadelphia. 

 

The weather is terrible. The people he had to work with are terrible. There is really no reason for him to return besides……His gaze lingers over his nightstand. Pulling his drawer open, Norman sighs softly and takes out the only content: thin envelope sent to him a month ago from Ethan Mars. 

 

After saving Shaun and helping Ethan clear his name, Norman remained in Philadelphia for another three weeks before leaving for D.C to finish up the paperwork for the case. During his stay, he had gotten to know Ethan and Shaun better and even stayed a few nights at the Mars’ household after Ethan’s persistent dinner invitations. Before he left, Ethan made sure to jot down his apartment address in Washington. “We should keep in touch.” The father said. Norman nodded at the time, but he really didn’t expect Ethan to remember him after a few weeks.

 

He is proven wrong. Ethan still texts him occasionally. Furthermore, Ethan always ends his message asking him how he is doing. Norman feels guilty for how plain his replies are. He isn’t at the liberty of discussing whatever is going on at his job, and there is basically nothing in his personal life that is worth mentioning to Ethan. He goes to work, drinks too much coffee for his own good, barely eats, and manages to throw up in the bathroom more than he can count. He doesn’t want to let Ethan know just how pathetic he is.

 

But Ethan, without a fail, always wishes him the best in his texts. Ethan has no idea how much his messages mean to Norman, how half the time he reads them when he is too nauseous to get up from the cold bathroom floor and they give him just enough strength to make it through another day. He brought up his promotion to him once over the phone, and Ethan sounded ecstatic for him. He must be the sweetest man Norman has ever met.  

 

Over Christmas, Ethan mailed him a postcard and a photo of him and Shaun to his address. He took Shaun to Disneyland over the boy’s winter break. Norman is immensely impressed by the progress Ethan made in overcoming his fear of crowds, which without a doubt is once again motivated by his love for his son. 

 

The back of the postcard has a simple message written.  _ Hey, Norman, Shaun and I are at Disneyland right now, and we thought we should send you something. It’s been a while since we last saw you in person, I hope you are doing well. If you ever find yourself in Philly again, don’t hesitate to give me a call. We would love to see you again. Take care. -Ethan  
_

 

In the photo, Ethan and Shaun are beaming brightly at the camera. Shaun is wearing one of those Mickey Mouse ears and looks adorable. Ethan is clean-shaven and his hair looks shorter than last time Norman saw him. They both look healthy and happy. 

 

Brushing his fingertip over Ethan’s face on the picture, Norman closes his eyes and imagines the man is here with him. The effect Ethan has on him never fades. It doesn't matter how much it hurts because Ethan Mars is safe with his son. That thought brings a smile to Norman's face. For once, the quickening of his heart rate isn’t due to stress or anxiety. For once, the curve of his lips isn’t forced or strained. For once, his mind is quiet, and there is warmth in his chest. 

 

 

 

 

_ For once, he feels alive.   _

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I am going through some weird writer's block with my other fics so I started a new multi-chapter :* obviously that's what I should do right  
> also greg wrote angst so I automatically have to write fluff to fight him  
> ugh love northan so much everyday xoxo join our groupchat!! talk to us about norman and ethan!!!


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